Disconnected
by singyourheartout287
Summary: Blaine goes missing and Kurt searches and searches for months, but after a point he has to come to terms with the fact that he's done all he can and Blaine's not coming back, so he starts planning a memorial service. Klaine. NO CHARACTER DEATH. Minor mention of Finn's death, but that's it.


"Blaine, you're so sweet."

Kurt rolled his eyes at Rachel's tone. "She wants something," he warned Blaine, nudging him on the couch.

Blaine laughed, meeting Rachel's eyes where she stood in the kitchen. "Yes, Rachel?"

"Will you pretty please run to the store for me?"

"Really?" Kurt asked. "Why can't you just go yourself?"

"I need to run lines to make sure I'm not getting rusty!"

"What do you need at the store?" Blaine asked.

"Tampons."

Kurt glared at her. "Really? You're sending him on a tampon run?"

"And chocolate. I'm feeling kind of crampy. But only if they have the organic kind I like!"

"No way. You're cutting into our cuddle time."

"You have cuddle time all the time! It's just a quick little errand. He wouldn't even be gone twenty minutes!"

"It's alright, Kurt," Blaine said, laughing as he stood up. "It's really not a problem. What kind of tampons? There are, like, a million different kinds aren't there?"

"Yes, and I want the U by Kotex kind because they're colorful and fun."

"U by Kotex. Got it."

Rachel went through her purse for a moment before giving Blaine a ten dollar bill. "It shouldn't be more than that. Thanks so much, Blaine!"

"Of course. Do you want anything while I'm there, Kurt?"

"Certainly not tampons," Kurt said. He shrugged. "Not really. I think I'm good. Just hurry home? I'm not gonna keep this movie paused forever, mister."

"Yes, sir." Blaine came back over to the couch and leaned down to give Kurt a quick kiss. "I'll be home soon."

"You better. Love you."

"I love you too."

Blaine grabbed his keys and his wallet before slipping out the door, sliding it behind him. Kurt stood up from the couch and headed over to Rachel, who was looking into the fridge.

"You so could have gone yourself," he said, reaching around her for the orange juice.

"Yes, but Blaine is so kind and generous! And I really do need to run lines. Will you help me?"

"Nope. I've got my own stuff to do, and you know that script backwards and forwards, don't even pretend that you don't. You're just lazy and didn't feel like going to the store."

"I'm on my period! Of course I don't feel like going to the store!"

"It's not our fault you menstruate!"

"It's not mine either!"

Kurt shook his head as he poured himself a glass half full of orange juice. "I'm so glad I'm gay. Where's the champagne?"

"Ooh, are you making mimosas? Will you make me one?"

"No. Make it yourself."

"Unfair, Kurt!"

"Life isn't fair."

"You're mean tonight."

"Your PMS is contagious."

"It is not. _I'm _not even PMSing."

"Really? So you weren't crying in your room for the past hour? That was someone else's melodic sobs I heard?"

Rachel paused, glancing over at him. "Carole finally got around to disconnecting Finn's phone. I called it to hear his voice on the voicemail recording again and I got a robot woman's voice telling me the number I'd dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service." She sighed and stood up straight, staring ahead. "I'll never hear his voice again."

Kurt instantly felt like the shittiest person alive. He waited a moment before grabbing another glass down from the cabinet and pouring more orange juice in, then finding the champagne and adding it to the glasses. He held one out to her. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she said, shaking her head. She offered a sad smile, meeting his eyes. "You didn't know. And it's sad for you too."

"Yeah. It is." Kurt took a sip of his mimosa. "But, you know, you'll still be able to hear his voice. We have tons of videos of him, from glee club and stuff. I have some on my phone from random moments around the house."

"Yeah. It's just not the same, I guess. When I called him and heard his voicemail, it was like...like he was still here, you know? Like I was just calling him and he was busy, so I could leave a voicemail and maybe he'd call me back..." She shrugged, closing the fridge and going to sit on the couch. "It's silly, I guess."

"It's not silly," Kurt said quickly, joining her. "I know what you mean."

She smiled again and shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm too emotional. Can we watch a movie?"

"Blaine and I are in the middle of one, but you can pick the next one while we wait for him to come back."

"Okay."

Rachel got up and went over to peruse their DVD collection on the bookshelf, and after thirty minutes of debating with herself and making pro/con lists out loud and narrowing down genres and actors that she did or didn't want to watch, she finally picked _Dawn of the Dead. _A surprising pick, one of Sam's DVDs that had been left after a movie night he and Blaine had over there, but Kurt didn't say anything. He figured she probably wanted something with zero romance in it and that was a safe choice.

It had been forty minutes since Blaine left, though, and he was supposed to be back in twenty. Kurt didn't want to let himself freak out just yet, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't worried. He pulled out his phone and sent a few texts but received nothing in return.

When an hour had gone by and Kurt had called and it went straight to voicemail, he really started to worry.

"Maybe he just stopped for coffee!" Rachel offered. "Or there was a long line, or he got lost, or-I mean, there are a million things-"

"Not right now, Rachel, okay?"

"It's only been an hour, Kurt."

"I know exactly how long it's been!" Kurt snapped. He sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I'm sorry. I'm just..."

"Worried?"

"Yes."

"Let's give it another hour before we get too worried, hmm?"

"I can't. I'm already worried. Do you think we should call the police?"

"Another hour, Kurt. Let's wait."

"But he's not picking up his phone or answering my texts and the store is not that far away and-"

"Kurt. We need to wait. You can't report a missing person as missing if it's only been an hour."

Kurt sighed again. "You're right. Okay. One more hour."

"One more hour."

So they waited one more hour. The movie was still paused, waiting for Blaine's return. Kurt paced across the living room for half an hour and then sat at the kitchen table shaking for the other half-hour. He jumped up when the door slid open, but instead of Blaine, it was Santana walking in.

She frowned at them both. "What?"

"Have you heard from Blaine? Or did you see him, by any chance?"

"No..."

"He went to the store two hours ago," Rachel explained. "And he's not back yet."

"So? He's terrible with directions. He probably got lost. Have you tried calling him?"

"Yes, and he's not picking up!" Kurt yelled, standing up from the table again. "Are you sure you didn't see him?"

"Positive," Santana said, frowning deeper. "Look, he'll be back soon, I'm sure. Stop freaking out."

"I can't! Blaine is missing!"

"He's not missing if it's been two hours, Kurt. You seriously need to chill out."

Rachel stepped forward, placing a gentle hand on Kurt's arm and saying, "Santana, keep in mind that both Kurt and Blaine have been the victim of hate crimes. I think he's a little justified in his worry."

"Oh. Shit, I'm sorry, Kurt, I didn't even think about that."

"Yeah, well, it's all I can think about!"

"Okay, let's try to keep our heads about this. Rachel, you keep calling Blaine's phone. I'll call the police. Kurt, you go sit on the couch."

"What? Why do I have to sit around?"

"Because you need to calm down," Santana said, looking Kurt in the eyes. "You freaking out isn't helping the situation. Why don't you call around to Sam and Artie and see if any of them have seen or heard from him?"

"Why are you the one calling the police?"

"Because I get shit done and I'm not going to settle for the 'wait for 48 hours' crap. If I'm the one calling, trust me, an officer will be here in ten minutes."

And Santana was right, if not a little off with her timing. An officer was at their loft in twenty minutes-the amount of time Blaine was supposed to be gone. The officer looked annoyed and put-out, but the second he walked in the door, Santana walked up to him and said, "I don't care what your protocol is or if you're pissed that you got sent to deal with the crazy Latina looking for her two-hours-missing friend, you're going to do your damn job and you're going to do it right. Got me?"

The cop raised an eyebrow at her and said, "Are you Miss Lopez?"

"You're damn right I am."

"Where's your friend? The fiancé?"

"I'm right here," Kurt said, standing up from the couch. He crossed the room and shook the officer's hand. "I really appreciate you coming down here. I know you're not supposed to report a missing persons this soon, but I know my fiancé and I know he wouldn't just disappear like this. He's not lost and he's not stuck in a long line. Something is _wrong."_

"Alright. My name is Officer Parker. Why don't we have a seat and you can tell me everything?"

Kurt nodded and gestured to the kitchen table. Everyone sat down and Kurt told Officer Parker about how Blaine was just running to the store for tampons and chocolate for Rachel, and that he said he'd be back in twenty minutes and it had been over two hours. "And we called everyone we know and no one's seen him or heard from him. He isn't picking up his phone-it's going straight to voicemail. And no text responses, either. He went to the store and then just...disappeared."

"Do you have any suspicion of what might have happened to him?"

"I don't-not really. I mean, I got caught up in a gay bashing about a month ago, but the guys weren't after me, they were going after some other guy. I just stepped in. So I don't-I don't think they're involved. And he was the victim of a similar beating a few years ago, but that was back in Ohio and it was so long ago that I don't-I don't think it's connected, either."

"Do you have names for the guys that assaulted him previously?"

"The ones in Ohio? Um-no, no I don't. He never-he just said it was a few jocks from his school; he never said who."

"Was a police report filed?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"I'll look into it." Officer Parker jotted a few more things down on his mini-notebook before looking up at Kurt. "Okay, Kurt, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give you my card with my phone number so you can call me with any more information should it arise. I'm going to look into these guys from Blaine's previous assault, just to be sure. I understand that it's frustrating, but I do have to follow protocol and wait before filing a missing person's report. That doesn't mean I'm going to wait to look for him, though. I'm going to do everything in my power to find him, okay? But keep in mind we don't know that he really is missing yet. If he returns tonight, you give me a call, okay?"

Kurt nodded. "Yeah, I-Okay. I will."

"Do you have anything else you want to tell me? Anything else I need to know before I go? Any other enemies of his?"

"Not that I can think of, no," Kurt said, staring down at the table. "Blaine is a very well-loved person. I don't think he has enemies."

"No jealous ex-boyfriends? Maybe of his or of yours?"

Kurt swallowed. "No. I don't think so. I was sort of dating this guy at NYADA, when Blaine and I were broken up for a little while about six months ago, but I don't think he'd do anything. He's harmless."

"What about Blaine?"

"No. Not unless-I mean, he slept with someone else. It's the reason we broke up. But Blaine hasn't spoken to him since they slept together, I don't think."

"I'd like to cross out any possible suspects, Kurt. Do you have a name?"

"Um, yeah, it's Eli. Eli Campbell."

"And your ex?"

"Adam Crawford."

Officer Parker wrote down the names and closed his notebook, looking up at Kurt. "Like I said, I'm going to do what I can. I'll give you a call if I find anything and you do the same, okay?"

"Yes, okay. Thank you, Officer. Really."

"You can thank me when Blaine is back, okay?"

Kurt nodded, standing up to walk Officer Parker to the door. "Yeah, okay."

"Keep in mind it's only been a few hours. We'll find him."

"Thank... Yes, sir."

"We'll be in touch."

Kurt shut the door behind Officer Parker and leaned his back against it, closing his eyes. Then he blinked them open and looked over to Rachel and Santana at the table. "What if we don't find him?"

"We will," Santana said. "Don't worry about it too much."

"But what if we don't?"

"Kurt, it's like the officer said, it's only been a few hours," Rachel said softly. "Let's give it time, okay? If he's not back by morning, we'll spread out across the city and check the areas around Blaine's favorite places. Especially alleys."

"Oh, god, what if he's lying in an alley somewhere? He could be hurt and scared and-"

"Don't think about that yet. Let's just focus on other things. Watch a movie, maybe? Or some reality TV?" Rachel suggested.

Kurt shook his head. "I don't think I could focus on anything. I'm probably just going to head to sleep."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Thanks for your help, Santana. That police officer never would have come or taken me seriously if you weren't here."

"Of course."

"You too, Rachel. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome, Kurt."

Kurt took a deep breath, nodded, and headed for his room. He stripped down to his boxer briefs before slipping on one of his matching silk pajama sets and curling up under the covers. It wasn't the same, though. Not without Blaine in bed with him. Granted, they didn't technically live together anymore, but Blaine still spent more time over at the loft than he did at his own apartment. And they still slept together, whether it was at Kurt's place or Blaine's, more often than not. Kurt knew there was no way he was going to get any sleep. Not without Blaine.

He had to try, though. He tried everything. Imagining Blaine in bed with him, singing a lullaby to himself in his mind, counting sheep, reciting monologues in his head. Nothing worked. He thought momentarily of pulling out Bruce but it felt wrong.

After a while, Kurt checked his phone to see it still blank-nothing from Blaine-and that three hours had passed. The loft sounded quiet, but when he ventured out, Rachel and Santana were awake on the couch, a plate of cookies between them.

"Couldn't sleep?" Rachel asked.

Kurt shook his head and moved the plate, squeezing himself in between them. Santana wrapped an arm around his shoulders and Rachel slipped one around his waist. Both girls laid their heads on his shoulders. No one said anything for a while. They continued watching...whatever it was they were watching. Kurt wouldn't pretend to have any idea what was playing on the screen.

"What if they don't find him?" Kurt asked, voice small and shaking. "I know you guys said not to worry, and that they will, but I can't help it. He's...he's my entire life. Blaine is everything to me. What if they don't find him? And I never know if he died or if he's stuck somewhere, taken and tortured and kept in a tiny room with no bed or food?"

"Kurt, you really have to try and calm down," Rachel said softly. "It hasn't even been a day."

"I know that!" Kurt shouted, sitting forward and disconnecting from the girls. He wiped at his eyes but it was no use. He knew they could tell he was crying and he didn't care. "But something is _wrong, _Rachel. I can feel it. He's not...he's not safe. And maybe I'm crazy for freaking out this soon, and maybe I'm acting completely irrational and he's going to walk through that door any minute, but I know Blaine. He wouldn't disappear like this. He is not safe and I don't... I just know something is wrong, okay? I just know it. And I know you know what I'm talking about, Rachel, because you must've felt it with Finn." He paused and turned to her, raising his eyebrows. "Didn't you?"

Rachel rolled her lips into her mouth, slowly letting them go as she nodded. "Yes."

"So then don't act like I'm being totally insane. I know what I'm talking about and I know there's something wrong. I just know it."

Santana rubbed Kurt's back and said, "Okay, Kurt. It's gonna be okay. Blaine may be in trouble right now, but we're going to find him and we're going to make it better, okay? I believe you. Rachel believes you. I think even that dipshit cop believes you."

"He's not a dipshit. He actually cares. I can tell."

"Okay, whatever, Officer Not-A-Dipshit. Cool. He cares too."

"What are we gonna do?" Kurt asked, looking back at her.

Santana shrugged. "We're going to wait. It's the only thing we can do."

"Okay," Kurt said.

"Okay," Santana said.

"Okay," Rachel said.

Kurt nodded. "Okay."

... ... ...

So they waited, and still nothing. Kurt didn't get any sleep that night. Neither did the girls, really. They each dozed off for an hour or so here and there, but nothing substantial. Towards morning they'd managed to fall asleep at the same time, so Kurt left them on the couch to go make coffee. They woke up to the smell and the sounds, coming over to huddle with Kurt until the coffee was ready.

Officer Parker didn't call all day, but Kurt was busy so it didn't matter much. He wasn't expecting anything. He went out with Rachel and Santana, like they'd said, and checked all of Blaine's usual places. His stores, his coffee shops, his rehearsal rooms at NYADA, his leisure walk routes. They checked in alleys and asked the vendors at the stores, but came up with nothing. No one had seen Blaine, and if they did they weren't saying so.

After walking non-stop for seven hours straight, they decided to meet up with the rest of the group over at Sam and Mercedes' apartment.

"Are you absolutely sure you haven't heard from him?" Kurt asked for the hundredth time.

Sam shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm positive, man. Look, we're all worried about him, but I promise you I haven't seen him or heard from him. Last time I saw him was before he went over to your place night before last."

Kurt sighed. "I'm gonna go check his room for any signs that he might've run away or something."

"Why would he have run away?"

"I don't know!" Kurt shouted, going from calm to hysterical in seconds. "Maybe he had a psychotic episode! Maybe he thought I'd be better off without him or something! He's been acting really weird and insecure lately! I don't know! But I'm going to go check, okay?"

"Okay!" Sam said, putting his hands up in surrender.

Mercedes got up and followed Kurt up the stairs. "Hon, I know you're worried, but you really have to calm down. You didn't need to snap at Sam like that."

"I know, 'Cedes, and I know he's your boyfriend and you feel like you have to defend him-"

"It's not even like that. It's about you, Kurt. You may be worried about Blaine, but I'm worried about you too."

"I'll be fine once Blaine is home." Mercedes stood in the door frame watching Kurt turn circles in Blaine's room. He frowned as he looked around. "I don't see anything weird. Do you?"

"Were you serious about what you said?"

"What?"

"About Blaine being all...depressed and insecure?"

"I didn't say depressed."

"That's not the point, Kurt."

"I know." Kurt sighed and turned to her. "Yes, I was serious. He's been really off lately."

"Do you really think he could have...you know, just left?"

Kurt shook his head. "I don't think so. I hope not, at least. He was having a good day yesterday before he disappeared. We had sex all night, and then that morning, and then we cuddled on the couch all day and talked over wedding flowers and venues and food. It was a good day yesterday. I don't think he left."

"So what's your theory, then?"

Kurt bit his lip, looking around Blaine's room again before sitting down on his bed. He grabbed Blaine's pillow and hugged it to his chest, smelling it, inhaling the raspberry hair gel and coffee and _Blaine. _"I don't know. I'm trying not to make any, because that would mean considering possibilities like abduction or murder and I don't... I can't think about that right now."

"You have a cop looking for him though, right?"

"Yeah. Officer Parker. He's gonna call me if he hears anything, and when he files a report."

"Good."

They stayed at the apartment for a little while longer before they returned to their own loft. There was a part of Kurt that fantasized Blaine would be sitting on the couch when he got home, smiling with a bowl of popcorn and asking to continue their movie.

But that didn't happen, and Kurt felt foolish to even think it. He came home to an empty loft and an emptier bed. He was exhausted, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. Not without Blaine. Still, when they got in, he said he was going to go lie down and headed into his room. He checked his phone and deflated when he had a text message from Adam.

_Care to explain why I was just dragged to the police station to answer questions about my whereabouts yesterday and my connection to you and your fiancé?_

Kurt sighed and typed out a response.

_Blaine is missing. They're trying to rule out all suspects. I'm sorry._

His phone vibrated only a moment later and he hated the spike of hope that shot through him. He knew it was Adam. Why did his mind have to trick him like that?

_And I'm a suspect?_

_It's just routine, Adam. You had a connection to me and now you don't. They're going to be calling in Blaine's ex, too._

_The guy he cheated on you with?_

_You know, I really don't feel like dealing with you and your petty jealousy. Blaine could be lying dead in a ditch in Nebraska and you're acting completely immature and rude. Fuck off, okay?_

It was a lot longer until he got a reply to that, but when he did he rolled his eyes and didn't bother replying.

_I'm sorry. I hope they find him soon._

His phone didn't vibrate again all night, but he made sure to keep it on and with him and fully charged at all times. Again, after a few hours, he went and sat on the couch. This time, Santana was gone, but Rachel was there.

"Where's Santana?"

"Sleeping in my bed."

"Oh. Wow."

Rachel shrugged. "She wanted to sleep and I couldn't. I figured I wasn't using my bed, so she could."

"We really ought to make some space for her here and get her a bed. It doesn't look like she's going anywhere anytime soon."

"We should have months ago," Rachel agreed. "But she and I have been fighting so much lately it seemed too uncertain."

"That's changed now?"

"Not really. But I'd prefer she doesn't sleep in my bed again. I'm going to have to wash my sheets before I sleep there next."

"So where are you going to sleep tonight?"

"We both know I won't be getting any sleep tonight. And neither will you."

Kurt nodded and picked his feet up, bending his knees and leaning against the arm of the couch. "It's been a day, Rachel. No word from him, no sight of him, no trace of him. I don't care if it takes two days to technically be a missing person, Blaine is missing."

"I know."

"Do you think Officer Parker will call tomorrow?"

"Probably. When he files the report."

"Adam texted me tonight."

"Really? What'd he say?"

"Apparently they called him down to the station for questioning. He was all pissy about it."

"But that's a good thing, right? It means Officer Parker is doing something. He didn't just say he'd do something, and then sit around. He actually did something."

"Yeah... Yeah, it's good..."

"You sound skeptical."

Kurt shrugged, picking at his bottom lip with his fingers. "I'm just scared."

"We all are, Kurt."

"No. It's different for me."

Rachel fell quiet. She scooted down the couch and laid her head in Kurt's lap. "I know," she murmured, patting his knee. "I know."

... ... ...

The next day, Officer Parker called to say he was filing a police report. The day after, Kurt was woken at 4am to banging on the door. He jumped off the couch and raced for the door, hoping against all hopes that it was Blaine. It wasn't, but it was close.

"Cooper? What are you-?"

"My parents are on the plane now. They'll be here soon. Tell me what happened."

"Oh my god. How did I not call you guys? I'm so sorry, I didn't even- I've been so worried, so focused on Blaine, how did I not-?"

"Kurt, it's okay, the police called us. Officer Porter, I think?"

"Parker."

"Right. Yeah, it's okay. I get it. Just let me in and tell me everything you know."

"You're not mad I didn't call?"

"No offense, Kurt, but I have more important things to focus on. Like my missing little brother."

Kurt shook his head to himself, stepping out of the way. "Right, yeah. I'm sorry."

"Thanks." Cooper came in and made himself at home on Kurt's couch. "Where are your roommates?"

"Asleep in their bed."

"Oh. I thought you lived with two girls?"

"I do."

"Lesbians?"

"No."

"Oh."

"Things are different around here with Blaine gone."

"How long has it been?"

"Three days."

"Fuck," Cooper muttered, sitting forward and leaning his elbows on his knees, his chin in his hands. He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. "_Fuck._"

"I know."

"And you guys looked-"

Kurt sighed and came over to the couch, sitting next to Cooper. "We've looked everywhere. We've asked around, checked alleys, been in touch with police. No one can find him anywhere."

"No trace of him?"

"Nope. He's just...gone."

Cooper fell back against the couched covering his face with his hands. After a minute he dropped his hands and looked over at Kurt. "You don't think he...?"

"...He what, Cooper?"

"You know..."

"I assure you, a million possibilities have gone through my mind, and I don't know which one you're talking about."

"Did he maybe...leave? Of his own choice?"

Kurt shook his head. "No. No way. I've thought of that, but it's not possible. We were having a good day and he'd just run out to the store for tampons for Rachel. He wasn't supposed to be gone more than twenty minutes, and it's been three days."

"Do the police have anything?"

"Officer Parker told me he checked out my ex, Adam, and the guy Blaine slept with, Eli, and neither of them seem suspicious. Adam was at a party and has about twenty witnesses and Eli was in Ohio, which his parents can confirm since he was watching a movie with them that night. Parker said he's still going to look into the guys that attacked Blaine at Sadie Hawkins and the ones that attacked me a month ago-"

"Why are they looking into Blaine's bullies from Ohio? And when did you get attacked?"

Kurt frowned at Cooper. "A month ago. As I just said. When they were driving away, I made sure to repeat their license plate in my mind over and over again until I fell unconscious. Thank god for my actor's mind, memorizing lines."

"And Blaine's bullies?"

"They're his enemies, aren't they?"

"So the police think it's some sort of...kidnapping?"

"Yeah, something like that. For now. Until we know more."

"Have they checked the security cameras in the area of the store he was supposed to be going to? That's what I see in the movies and on _Law and Order _so it must be how things go, right?"

Kurt gave Cooper a look. "Yes, they checked. Blaine was seen in a security camera at the store at 8:32pm that night. He left the store at 8:37pm. That's the last we can pin him. There aren't any security cameras outside on that street, so all we know is that he made it to the store, bought Rachel's tampons, and left."

"And there wasn't an abandoned bag of tampons lying on the ground anywhere?"

"No."

"Damn," Cooper hissed, looking away.

Kurt nodded and sat back on the couch, pulling the blanket back up and curling into a ball in the corner of the couch. "You said your parents would be here soon?"

"Yeah, in a couple hours. They caught a red eye."

"Alright." They lapsed into silence, both staring at the TV but knowing neither of them were truly watching. Kurt eyed the duffle bag Cooper had dropped off by the door but didn't comment on it. After a while, he asked, "You're really not mad that I didn't call you when Blaine first went missing?"

"Of course I am. But I'm too focused on Blaine, and that alone kind of lets you off the hook. If I'm so focused on Blaine I can't be mad that you didn't call to tell me he was missing, then I can understand how you were so focused on him that you didn't call."

"Do you think your parents will be mad?"

"Probably someday. Not now. They're gonna be like me; too focused on Blaine. Dad will throw money at the situation and Mom will cry, so be prepared for that."

"Your dad's money might be useful, if he can hire a private eye or something."

Cooper kicked off his shoes and put his feet up on the couch. "Yeah, maybe. But somehow I don't think a private investigator working alone is going to do any better than an entire police station."

"Well I don't think the entire station is looking for Blaine, but—"

"They will be once Dad gets here."

"Oh. Right. Money."

"You know, Blaine may resent us for our money, and he may like to pretend that he's not part of us because of it, but being rich does have its uses, Kurt."

"I know. I never said anything."

"You didn't have to. Rich people can feel when they're being judged for their money."

Kurt stayed quiet and curled further into himself, resting his chin against his knees, legs drawn up against his chest. Cooper eyed him across the couch but didn't say anything. They waited in silence until another knock sounded at the door. Kurt stood up but Cooper pushed him gently back down.

"Don't worry about it. I'll get it." Cooper slid open the door and greeted his parents, taking their hugs and gesturing for them to come inside. "Yes, Kurt is here, he's right over there."

Kurt stood up again and held out a hand. "Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Anderson."

"Tell us everything," Mrs. Anderson said, grabbing Kurt's hand and pulling him in for a hug. She pulled away and looked him in the eye. "We need to know everything. And the police officer that's helping you—we need his name and number."

Kurt nodded. "Sure thing. Of course. I have his card in my wallet, just let me—"

"That can wait, son," Mr. Anderson cut in, coming over and clapping Kurt's shoulder. "Tell us about what happened. The last time you saw Blaine, how long he's been gone, where you've checked."

Kurt took a deep breath and told them everything he'd told Cooper. By the time he was finished relaying all the information, the sun had come up and Kurt was exhausted. Rachel and Santana came out of their room to make coffee, so Kurt did introductions to Blaine's parents, falling asleep at the kitchen table. After a lot of coaxing from everyone in the room, Kurt was ushered into his room and into bed.

He didn't think he'd be able to fall asleep, but after three nights of nearly no sleep, Kurt dozed off almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

When he woke up, it was three in the afternoon and Officer Parker was sitting at their kitchen table with a female officer Kurt had never seen before.

"Um… Hi. I'm sorry; I was sleeping."

Officer Parker nodded. "It's okay, Kurt. This is my partner, Maggie. We were just talking to your friends and family about the situation."

"Which is…?"

Everyone paused, exchanging glances and shifting.

Kurt frowned, heart dropping into his stomach. "What happened? Is he… He isn't—Please tell me he's not…"

"They found his cardigan," Santana said quietly. "There was…blood on it."

Kurt bit his lip and tried to keep control. "H—His blood?"

"They're running DNA tests now, but…it's probable."

"Where did you find it?"

"Kurt…"

"Where?" he demanded.

"Along the Hudson River," Parker spoke up. "Out by Newburgh."

Kurt took a deep breath, looking down at the ground and thinking. "Maybe…maybe it's not his. How do you know it's his? Lots of people have cardigans and if it's that far out, maybe it's not—"

"It is, honey," Mrs. Anderson said, sniffing into a handkerchief. "It's the cardigan you got him for his birthday."

Kurt made a strangled noise that sounded somewhere between a choking cat and a coughing dolphin. "You mean the one with—with the lobsters?"

"Yes."

Kurt let himself have a moment, chin shaking and heart jack-rabbiting in his chest. He nodded and turned around. "Please let me know if you find anything else."

"We're gonna find him, Kurt," Parker said to his back. "I promise we're doing everything we can."

He didn't have the strength to answer. Instead, he disappeared into his room again. He couldn't fall back to sleep, because he'd gotten enough for his body to be awake, but he couldn't go back out there. He listened to their hushed conversations, the quiet crying, the sound of the door sliding open and shut again. He listened to the sounds of life as he laid in bed awake, unable to stop picturing Blaine dead.

… … …

The next clue in Blaine's disappearance came a week later, seven miles outside of Albany. It was his shoes and button-down shirt, buried but dug up by one of the police dogs. After that, they were hopeful. It wasn't exactly a good thing to find Blaine's bloody and buried clothes, but it was a clue that they were on the right track. They were following the right trail, getting closer to finding Blaine himself, even if it would be just a dead body.

But after the shoes and the shirt, there was nothing. No more clues came. The police doubled their efforts and searched all of New York State, then branched out to surrounding states and enlisting the help of those police forces. It seemed like a lot to put into one missing person, but as Cooper had stated, Blaine's dad threw money at the situation and everyone upped their efforts.

It ended up being pointless anyway. A month passed since Blaine had disappeared, and then another, and suddenly three hours turned into three days turned into three months that Blaine had been gone. Blaine's parents gave up around the two months mark, returning to Ohio and saying they'd continue from there, that they couldn't miss any more work. Kurt wanted to _scream _he was so outraged. He wanted to shout, _I dropped out of school! I quit work! I've been putting _everything _into finding your son. What have you done besides thrown your money at a bunch of cops and waited by the phone?_

He didn't, though. Their money was useful, as much as Kurt resented them for it, so he kept quiet and let them leave. Cooper stayed, which Kurt found comforting. At least someone else cared. Rachel and Santana did too, of course. And the rest of their friends. Sam especially, and Kurt felt bad because he thought maybe he was supposed to reach out to Sam given Blaine's absence. He knew they were best friends and even before Blaine had entered the picture, Kurt was friends with Sam. But he didn't have the energy to coach anyone through this. He was too focused on himself.

Kurt would go days without sleeping at all, and then his body would give up and pass out from exhaustion, and he'd wake up 12 hours later with no news. And yet, every time he woke up, he let himself hope that maybe someone would have something. And one day, when he woke up, Parker and Maggie were sitting at the kitchen table. Kurt thought to himself, _This is it. Your hoping and waiting has paid off. They're here to tell you they found him. _

But it was something else entirely.

"You're _stopping the search_?" Kurt asked. "But it's only been three months!"

Parker sighed. "Kurt, in most missing person cases, if you don't find them in the first three days, they're probably dead. It's been three months. I'm sorry, but there are hundreds of thousands of people that go missing every day. We can't keep chasing down dead ends."

"Please stop saying that word," Kurt whispered.

Parker and Maggie exchanged a look before Maggie said, "I'm so sorry, Kurt. But we've done everything we can, and—"

"Clearly you haven't or my fiancé would be home right now," Kurt snapped. He stood up from the table and walked away, falling onto the couch.

He heard Cooper apologizing for him and thanking them for what they did. After they left, Kurt glared at Cooper. "How could you be so nice to them? They're giving up."

"They did what they could, Kurt."

"So you're giving up too? He's your brother."

"Kurt…"

"No, you know what? Save it. I'm not going to give up on him. Maybe you and your parents and the police and everyone else have just written him off, but I haven't. And you can all go fuck yourselves." Kurt walked away after that, heading for his room, but he heard angry footsteps after him.

"Hey!" Cooper yelled, grabbing Kurt's shoulder and spinning him around. "That's not fair and you know it."

"What's not fair is that Blaine could be sitting in a tiny room in some remote cabin in the woods, waiting for us to come rescue him, and you're all giving up. He could be injured and scared and bleeding, and we are his only hope, and you're all just going to move on with your lives. After _three months._"

"You heard what they said! If you don't find them after the first three days, he's probably dead—"

"_Don't," _Kurt said, voice dangerously low. "Don't you use that word. He is _not. Dead._"

"They found his bloody clothes in two different places, left and buried and—"

"_STOP IT!" _he screamed, covering his ears and closing his eyes.

"Kurt, you have to face the facts!" Cooper said, pulling Kurt's hands away. "He has been gone for too long—"

"It's hasn't even been a year," Kurt cried. He shook and let the tears fall from his eyes, too far past feeling ashamed for it. "It hasn't even been a _year, _Cooper. People who've gone missing sometimes show up six or seven or _twelve years _later, and you guys are just giving up after three months?"

"We don't have a choice, Kurt."

Kurt shook his head. "There's always a choice." He pushed Cooper away and disappeared into his room.

… … …

Cooper left after that. Even though everyone else was done looking, Kurt couldn't. He couldn't stop thinking about Blaine and what might have happened and who could have taken him. He poured over the evidence, charting and re-charting things, trying to see things in a way they hadn't looked at them before to find some new information, something they missed.

It was fruitless and he knew it. Blaine was gone, and it didn't matter if he was dead or alive because he wasn't coming back. Slowly, Kurt started to come around to the idea that the others hadn't given up, they just knew when to call it quits. And after another month—four months since Blaine had disappeared and about three since they'd had their last useful clue as to where he was or what had happened—Kurt knew it was time to call it quits, too. Rachel talked to him and made him see that Blaine wouldn't want Kurt to give up his entire life just to find him.

What really did it for him was the disconnection he felt. He used to feel this connection, like the tether Coach Sylvester had described at her sister's funeral. No matter where Blaine was, Kurt felt connected to him. Even during their break-up, Kurt felt it. But after those four months, that connection had grown weaker and weaker until it just…wasn't there anymore. It had been disconnected. _They _had been disconnected. And Kurt knew he couldn't pretend everything was going to be okay anymore.

So he was sitting at the kitchen table, pouring over floral arrangements for a memorial service—_not _a funeral, Kurt was very adamant about that—when a knock sounded at the door.

He sighed and stood up, going to open it. When he did, he almost fainted. His breath hitched and his heart stopped. He rubbed his eyes, making sure he wasn't hallucinating, but Blaine was still standing there when he opened them again. Dirty, bloody, thin as a pole with a full beard and ragged hair. But even through all of that, Kurt recognized him immediately.

"B—Blaine?"

Blaine tried to smile, but he just ended up crying. "Yeah. I'm home, Kurt."

Kurt choked out a cross between a laugh and a sob and launched himself forward into Blaine's arms, burying his face in Blaine's neck. "Oh my god. Oh my _god. _Blaine, how are you—where've you been? We—Oh my god, I—_Oh my god._"

"Um, Kurt, can you loosen your grip a little bit? I've…got a lot of bruising."

Kurt pulled back immediately, frowning at him. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? Are any of your bones broken? Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"Not yet. Can I come in?"

"Oh my god, of course, I'm so—Come sit down, I—"

"Kurt. It's okay."

Blaine limped a few steps before Kurt sidled up next to him and helped him over to the couch, gently setting him down. "What happened?" Kurt asked, sitting down next to him and taking his hands.

"It's…a really long story."

Kurt looked Blaine over, eyes focusing on the blood. "Blaine, is that…is that your blood? Oh my god are you bleeding?"

Blaine shook his head. "No. This isn't my blood."

"Oh."

"Kurt, before I tell you anything, I need you to understand that I—I did what I had to do. To get back to you. Okay?"

"Yeah."

"I'd never—I had to do things I never wanted to do in my life, that I never want to do again, and…they're not good things, Kurt."

"I don't care," Kurt said quickly, thumbs brushing over the dirty backs of Blaine's hands. "I'm still trying to process that you're actually _here._"

"Yeah. I found a way to escape."

"Blaine, _who took you?_"

Blaine paused, looking down. "I don't know."

"You don't—you don't _know_?"

"It was these two guys. I didn't know either one of them. They came up behind me when I was walking home from the store that night and threw a bag over my head and put a gun to my back. They told me if I made a sound, they'd shoot me right there, so I kept my mouth shut and they shoved me into the backseat of a truck, lying on the floor. At some point, they took the bag off my head. By that time, it was daylight, so I knew some time had passed. I didn't know how long. I said I had to go to the bathroom, and they almost didn't let me go, but I told them I'd pee all over their backseat and they got pissed and pulled over on the highway. When I got out to pee, I tried to make a break for it, but they caught me and hit me over the head. I don't remember much about that, but when I woke up again it was dark and I was in a motel room."

"Your cardigan…"

"Yeah, I didn't have my cardigan anymore, either. How'd you know?"

"They found it out by the Hudson River."

"Oh. Well, yeah, that'd be why."

"Okay, then what happened?"

"One of them went to go hotwire a new car so no one could trace us by license plate while the other one stayed in the room with me."

"Do you remember the license plate number of the truck?"

"Yeah, why?"

"What was it?"

"JQ8E4C."

Kurt felt all the air leave his lungs and he lurched over, holding his head in his hands. "Oh my god."

"Kurt? What is it?"

"Oh my god," Kurt repeated.

Blaine rubbed circles on his back, and Kurt wanted to scream at the universe for Blaine comforting him at a time like this. "Kurt, what? What's wrong?"

"Besides the fact that you were kidnapped and have been missing for months? Oh, nothing, just that your kidnappers were the guys who beat me up in that alley."

"Wait—what?"

"The two guys? The ones who gay bashed me?"

"No, I know, what you're talking about, but you're saying it's the same guys?"

"Yes."

"How do you know?"

"It's the same license plate, Blaine. Oh my god, the police were supposed to check them out, but I wrote them off as two hillbillies who didn't know anything. I can't believe… I can't believe I did that."

"Kurt, this isn't your fault."

"Of course it is!" Kurt said, sitting up and staring at Blaine. "I wrote those guys off, I thought that they weren't—_how did they even find you_?"

"I don't know. But they did."

"Blaine, I'm so sorry."

"This isn't your fault. I promise. Do you want to hear the rest?"

Kurt nodded. "Yes. Please."

"Okay. Well, they got another car, some dark green mini-van, and shoved me in the back of that. We drove for a while. I don't know how long, really. I don't know where we were going or what they were planning to do with me. When they stopped to get gas at some point, I climbed out of the back and tried to sneak away. I'd almost gotten away with it but one of them spotted me and they ambushed me. They punched me in the face and once they had me on the ground, they kicked me a lot until I couldn't move, really. Then they picked me up and loaded me back in the van."

"And no one saw anything?"

"I guess not, or I would've been found, I'd like to think. Anyway, we drove through Albany and all the way up into Canada. They had some connections there, I guess. I was in and out of consciousness the rest of the ride, but I know that after that gas station I lost my shoes and my shirt. I think I bled too much on it after they broke my nose. I don't know why they took my shoes, but they did. They took me to this cabin up in Canada and held me there for a while. I don't know how long. I guess it was a few months, because I know it's been four since that night they took me. I checked a newspaper when I escaped."

"_How _did you escape?"

"Well, I didn't know what they were keeping me there for, or what they were planning to do with me. I don't think they knew, either. I think it was a half-conceived plan that just got way out of hand, I don't know. But I figured, they have to sleep, right? And they took watches, but I was with them for months and I knew that sometimes they'd fall asleep at the same time while watching _Duck Dynasty. _So I waited for them to do that and... Then I just left. I didn't know where I was—we were in the middle of Canadian woods. But I just ran until I came to a road and followed it. Eventually it led to a town, so I found a gas station and asked to use their phone. They took one look at me and told me to get out because they didn't want any trouble, but I told them I'd been kidnapped in America and I'd just escaped and I needed to use their phone. They didn't believe me. They were convinced I was part of some survival show. So I hitch-hiked."

"You hitch-hiked all the way from Canada to New York City?"

"Yeah. First there was an 18-wheeler truck driver. His name was Ned, and he was cool. He took me all the way to Albany. From there, I got a ride with Jane. She was really nice."

"Blaine, what did you tell these people?"

"I told them that I was homeless and I was just trying to make it to family in New York City that could help me."

"And they trusted you?"

"Kind of. I didn't really question it. I was just trying to get back to you."

"Wait, but that doesn't explain the blood on your clothes. What happened there?"

Blaine looked down. "I kind of glazed over the part where I escaped. Kurt, I really don't want to give you the details because I don't want your view of me to change."

"Never. Honey, I know you did what you had to. Those guys are neanderthals. They're criminals and they _took you _and they hurt you. I won't judge you for what you had to do to get away from them."

"Okay," Blaine said, and for the first time since he'd started telling Kurt the story, his voice broke. "But please don't… Just listen, okay? I don't want you to say anything."

"Okay."

"Well, my plan was to just tip-toe over to a window and sneak out, but one of them is a super light sleeper and he woke up. He woke the other one up and they started coming after me, but I was so _close, _Kurt, I didn't want to just give in and let them beat me again and keep me there longer. So I… There was this bookshelf by the window, so I knocked it over on top of one of them. It knocked him out long enough for me to focus on just one of them, and I put my boxing to use and kind of…beat him up. Look, you really don't need to know the details of that. Just know that most of this blood is his and he was down on the ground and incapacitated. Then the guy under the bookshelf woke up, so I grabbed the closest thing to me and swung. It was a fire-poker for a fireplace. The sharp, hook on the side got caught in his head and he fell to the ground. Then I climbed out the window and left."

"Blaine…"

"I told you not to say anything."

"I'm sorry, I just…" Kurt paused, scooting closer and wrapping his arms gingerly around Blaine. "I'm so glad you're okay," he said, starting to cry. "I really thought you were dead…"

"For a while there, I did too."

Kurt pulled back and looked Blaine in the eyes. "We have to go to the police. The hospital, first, and I'll call Parker and Maggie from there."

"Who?"

"The officers who were working your case. Oh my god, and I'll have to call Cooper and your parents too, they've been so worried. And Rachel and Santana and Sam and—"

"Kurt, calm down. One thing at a time. I would really love to get some pain meds about now. I think I have a few concussions and bruised ribs."

"Yes, oh god, I'm sorry. Let's get you to the hospital."

"Can we take a taxi instead of the subway?"

"Of course, Blaine, of course. Yes."

Kurt helped Blaine down the stairs and out to the street. They hailed a taxi and headed to the nearest hospital. Kurt stayed with Blaine until he was taken back, and then stayed in the waiting room and made all the calls he needed to make. Parker sighed in relief and said he'd be down to the hospital soon. Cooper cried, and so did Mr. and Mrs. Anderson. Rachel screamed and said she and Santana would be down to the hospital in a few minutes, and when they showed up, they were both crying and demanding to see him.

Finally, after Parker had arrived, they were all ushered back to see Blaine. He was sitting up in a hospital bed, smiling despite the dirt and grime and blood covering him.

"Oh my god," Rachel gasped.

Santana was speechless for once.

"How are you feeling?" Kurt asked, going straight to Blaine's bedside and taking his hand.

Blaine smiled wider at Kurt. "I'm feeling so much better. They gave me pain meds."

"Oh, good. Thank god. What did they say?"

"Lots of medical stuff. I'm super broken, Kurt."

"You're not broken, baby. You were taken. But you're home and you're safe now and I'm never leaving your side again."

Parker stepped forward, opening his notepad and holding a pencil above the paper. "Blaine, I need you to tell me exactly what happened, from the night you disappeared up until right now."

Blaine eyed the notebook for a second before looking up at Parker. "You're gonna need a bigger notebook."

… … …

Three days later, Blaine was released from the hospital. He'd been able to shower and shave while he was there, after Kurt brought him things from home. When they took him back to the loft, he looked relatively the same. A few bruises and scratches, but no big deal. Just like the night Kurt was bashed.

Same guys, completely different story.

Kurt felt the guilt heavily for a long time. The guys came after Blaine because of Kurt, and the police didn't check those guys because of Kurt, and if Kurt had done something differently, Blaine would've been home in a week or two. But he didn't, and he hated himself for months over it. The two men were captured, which made Kurt feel a little better. Blaine was able to give them close enough directions that they found the cabin and the two guys, who were too injured to leave.

Apparently, they'd been following Kurt ever since the night he intervened on their gay bashing. They resented him for interrupting and wanted to get back at him. Their original plan was to kill Kurt, to send a message to all other gay people who fought back, but then they changed their plan on a whim and took Blaine.

That made Kurt feel even worse, because if it hadn't been for him, Blaine never would've been taken at all.

A couple months later, he and Blaine were lying in bed together. Blaine had completely healed by then and just wanted to forget the whole thing, but Kurt couldn't do it.

"Kurt, for the last time, this isn't your fault."

"But it is, on some level."

"It's not, and you have to stop blaming yourself. Those guys were totally insane. If it wasn't me, it would've been you."

"It _should've _been me."

"You know I hate it when you say things like that," Blaine sighed, touching the pads of his fingers gently to Kurt's cheekbone. "It was hard enough seeing you in that hospital bed after they beat you up. I don't think I could handle it if you died."

"At least you didn't have to actually deal with it," Kurt said. "I thought you were dead, Blaine. I was planning your memorial service when you showed up. I spent months wondering where you were, searching for you, always wondering if you were dead but hoping against all odds that you weren't. And then one day I just…didn't feel you anymore. That connection we have, it was gone, and I knew it. I knew that was it. I knew that whatever happened to you, you'd died, and I'd never see you again. And then you just showed up and… God, I am _so _grateful that you're here, and that you're alive, but please don't talk to me about me hypothetically being dead, when I lived a very hard reality of it."

"But you didn't," Blaine reminded him. "You didn't live a reality of me being dead because I'm right here."

"It was close enough. It was my reality at the time, Blaine. And I know you just want to try and move on with our lives, but you were gone for longer than the amount of time it's been since it happened and I can't just move on that fast."

Blaine sighed and cuddled closer to Kurt. He wrapped his hand around the back of Kurt's head and directed it to his chest, turning it to the side and pushing Kurt's ear to his chest. "Do you hear that, Kurt? Do you feel that?" He pulled his hand away so Kurt could look up at him. "It's my heart. And it's still there, and it's still beating, and we are so lucky for that. Why can't you focus on that instead of the time when I was gone?"

"Because we disconnected," Kurt said quietly. "We disconnected, and you died, and I don't understand how you're here."

"Baby, none of that matters. We reconnected, and I'm here, and it doesn't matter how it happened. It did."

"How can you be so calm about this? You were kidnapped, beaten, held hostage. Weren't you scared?"

Blaine looked away, voice going low. "Of course I was. I lived every day thinking it was going to be my last, thinking that this would be the day they'd kill me, that I'd never get to see you again. We wouldn't get to have our wedding or our marriage or our kids or our retirement home. We wouldn't get to have our life together. But you know what? Thinking of all that was the only thing that kept me going. That is the only reason I am here right now. That is the only reason I had the courage to make my escape. Because of this life, here, with you. And this is what I want to focus on. Not those months of constant fear, but now, where I am constantly grateful to even be alive."

Kurt bit his lip, wiping away the tears in his eyes and burrowing his head into Blaine's chest again. He wrapped his arms tightly around Blaine and cried into his shirt. "I really thought you were dead."

"I know. But I'm not, and that's what's important. This right here is what's important. And we are never going to be disconnected again."

"You promise?"

"I promise. I'll put it in our wedding vows if that'll make you happy."

"Okay," Kurt said, sniffling. "Deal."

Blaine hugged Kurt tightly and Kurt reveled in it. Finally, with Blaine home, Kurt didn't have to stay up for days and days before his body gave into exhaustion and passed out. He could fall asleep in his bed every night, comforted by Blaine's solid body wrapped around his, and that was a gift he would never take for granted again.


End file.
